AHS Views

A blog I read recently talked about how parents feel helpless when it comes to their kids drinking or taking drugs. They feel they can’t control it at all. The author’s solution was to start having dinner together. And, believe it or not, actual studies have shown that kids in families who have dinner together are significantly less likely to abuse alcohol, take drugs, and wind up needing addiction help.

Why is having dinner together so effective? Because you are doing something as a family – hopefully, it’s something you all enjoy – and you can have fun, laugh, talk about your day, and so on.

Doing that opens the door to deeper conversations about the important things in life, and to real parenting. Unfortunately our hectic lives leave little time for parenting. Sure, there’s lots of talk and interaction in good homes, but it’s mostly rushed – on the way to one thing or another, trying to get your kids to get ready faster, dropping them off at school or social and extra-curricular activities, , and so on.

But there’s generally not much actual communication: Not much in the way of sit-down discussions where parents and kids are talking about things that matter. Where parents are finding out how their kids feel about certain things, what’s really going on in their lives, who they’re hanging out with, who and what they like and dislike and why, what their goals and aspirations are.

These talks should include discussions about things that can get kids into trouble – including alcohol and drugs – and what will help them succeed in life.

Talks about drugs should include their exposure to drugs – do they know kids who take drugs or drink, have they been offered drugs or alcohol, and so on – and how they feel about them and what they know about them.

Parents are responsible for learning about drugs and educating their kids – not lecturing them, but educating with facts. Facts about the perils of drugs and alcohol are easy to come by, and are dramatic enough to be pretty convincing and have an effect. Gradually teach them more and more, and occasionally, when you see news stories about something bad happening from alcohol or drugs – especially to someone the kids might admire like a sports figure or musician – let them know about it.

When do you start having these discussions? Really, it’s never too early. Kids are exposed to drugs and alcohol by the time they’re 9 or 10 years old. There are 13-year-old addicts. And don’t wait until there is trouble. Statistics show that kids are involved in drugs for about two years before parents find out about it.

The other important thing to remember is that the earlier kids get involved in drugs or alcohol, the greater the chances are that they’ll become addicts and eventually need a drug rehab program. So, as I said, it’s never really too soon to educate them. And the more they know, the more able they’ll be to make an informed decision about drugs when they’re exposed to them. And they will be – no matter what kind of home, school or environment they grow up in.

So, start with dinner. If you’re not already having dinner together, make it a household rule. And take it from there.