AHS Views

A blog I read recently talked about how parents feel helpless when it comes to their kids drinking or taking drugs. They feel they can’t control it at all. The author’s solution was to start having dinner together. And, believe it or not, actual studies have shown that kids in families who have dinner together are significantly less likely to abuse alcohol, take drugs, and wind up needing addiction help.

Why is having dinner together so effective? Because you are doing something as a family – hopefully, it’s something you all enjoy – and you can have fun, laugh, talk about your day, and so on.

Doing that opens the door to deeper conversations about the important things in life, and to real parenting. Unfortunately our hectic lives leave little time for parenting. Sure, there’s lots of talk and interaction in good homes, but it’s mostly rushed – on the way to one thing or another, trying to get your kids to get ready faster, dropping them off at school or social and extra-curricular activities, , and so on.

But there’s generally not much actual communication: Not much in the way of sit-down discussions where parents and kids are talking about things that matter. Where parents are finding out how their kids feel about certain things, what’s really going on in their lives, who they’re hanging out with, who and what they like and dislike and why, what their goals and aspirations are.

These talks should include discussions about things that can get kids into trouble – including alcohol and drugs – and what will help them succeed in life.

Talks about drugs should include their exposure to drugs – do they know kids who take drugs or drink, have they been offered drugs or alcohol, and so on – and how they feel about them and what they know about them.

Parents are responsible for learning about drugs and educating their kids – not lecturing them, but educating with facts. Facts about the perils of drugs and alcohol are easy to come by, and are dramatic enough to be pretty convincing and have an effect. Gradually teach them more and more, and occasionally, when you see news stories about something bad happening from alcohol or drugs – especially to someone the kids might admire like a sports figure or musician – let them know about it.

When do you start having these discussions? Really, it’s never too early. Kids are exposed to drugs and alcohol by the time they’re 9 or 10 years old. There are 13-year-old addicts. And don’t wait until there is trouble. Statistics show that kids are involved in drugs for about two years before parents find out about it.

The other important thing to remember is that the earlier kids get involved in drugs or alcohol, the greater the chances are that they’ll become addicts and eventually need a drug rehab program. So, as I said, it’s never really too soon to educate them. And the more they know, the more able they’ll be to make an informed decision about drugs when they’re exposed to them. And they will be – no matter what kind of home, school or environment they grow up in.

So, start with dinner. If you’re not already having dinner together, make it a household rule. And take it from there.

It’s the day after Christmas. I’ll bet there are millions of people in the U.S. – and around the world – who wish they’d made sure that someone in their family had gotten addiction help before the holidays. Well, it’s not too late, and it’s never too early, to make it happen.

I remember many Christmases from my young years. Although the mornings were great – basically a happy family having breakfast, opening presents and so on – as the day wore on and the drinking started, the spirit was kind of ruined for some of us. Either someone in the household or someone who was visiting got nasty or way too melancholy – sometimes to the point of crying over everything they regret or how nice people were being to them and they didn’t deserve it – or there were fights, upsets, and so on.

This wasn’t just my family – it was also the families of many of my friends in our middle class neighborhood.

And then there was me when I was older. Showing up at my parent’s place stoned on one drug or another, or leaving early because I couldn’t stand going without drugs any longer.

Sometimes there were no drugs on Christmas day but, since my mother didn’t see me that often in those bad times, she wanted to talk about it. She was so happy to see me straight – but, at the same time, you could see the sadness behind her smile, she knew things were ‘normal’ just for the day.

It broke her heart. And worried her to no end.

Fortunately, I got off drugs shortly thereafter and that was followed by decades of a very good relationship. I never got into trouble after that, never gave her anything to worry about. It was my mother who first took the initiative to get me into drug rehab for the addiction help I needed. And once I got off drugs, I never went back. The treatment program was excellent, very successful, and deserves a lot of the credit for my never relapsing. And that’s why it’s important to choose the right drug rehab program.

But several years were wasted. Frankly, I was lucky to have lived through those drugs days. Many of my friends and acquaintances didn’t. And many of those who did were never able to re-establish their family and other relationship – they’d burned their bridges.

Do you want to save your kids? Your spouse? Your family? Your marriage? Your relationships?

Call Addiction Help Services – our experienced counselors have helped thousands of people from all walks of life and with all different types of alcohol and drug problems. They will help you find the right alcohol and drug addiction treatment program for your situation. And do it now, don’t delay as you probably have so many times in the past. Things aren’t going to change, except to get worse, unless something is done.

Do it now, and next year’s holidays will be what you really want them to be.

The biggest and most obvious problems that happen from drinking too much seem to be emotional and mental rather than physical – the person who’s drinking tends to go through a personality change, which can be very difficult to live with, and they take less responsibility for work, relationships, and so on. What’s happening with the person physically may not be that obvious, but it is more than enough reason to get alcohol addiction help.

What happens to your body? There are alcohol-related cancers, liver diseases, alcohol poisoning, heart disease and a general weakening of every organ and system in the body.

For women who are or might get pregnant, you also have to add the danger to the baby. The worst of those is fetal alcohol syndrome – which affects the baby mentally and physically in a really disastrous way. The symptoms include several different kinds of physical deformities (including having a smaller brain), slow growth while in the womb and after birth, vision and hearing problems, poor coordination, mental retardation, heart defects and various types of abnormal behavior.
Kids with fetal alcohol syndrome often have to be cared for for their entire lives, and their lives tend to be short.

The instances of alcohol-related diseases are becoming more of a problem around the world. Last year in England, for example, the number of cancers, liver diseases and poisoning increased by 10 percent over the prior year and more than 7,000 kids (under 18) were admitted to hospitals.

You can be sure that each of the people who had the diseases and/or were admitted to hospital are going to have a much shorter life than they expected.

If you’re being ‘nice’ about somebody’s drinking habits – think again. There’s nothing nice about letting them kill themselves. Get them into alcohol rehab.

Why do parents worry when their kids are drinking? For the most part, it’s either because their kids change when they drink and become somewhat obnoxious, or because they’re afraid they’re going to drink and drive or get into a brawl. All very good reasons for finding out how to get them the addiction help they need – and there’s no doubt that anyone drinking like that, regardless of the consequences, needs alcohol rehab.

But those reasons are not the only things you have to worry about.

A study in Australia (and there’s no reason to believe the situation in America isn’t either as bad or worse) showed that one in five deaths by injury involved alcohol.

Someone drowns – there’s a one in five chance alcohol was involved.
Someone gets poisoned – again, one in five chance alcohol was involved.

Have an accident with tools, a fall that causes an injury that either kills someone on the spot or later, caught in a fire – at least one in five of all of these involve alcohol. In some case, it’s more. For example, alcohol is involved in one in three burns or fires.

It’s quite amazing when you think about it that it’s legal to drink alcohol. It is so destructive.

If someone in your family needs alcohol rehab, get them help now before the situation gets worse.

We all know that alcohol abuse can cause a number of problems both physically and in life, but we don’t usually associate it directly with breast cancer. According to a new study, alcohol abuse and breast cancer are linked – even when you are a relatively light drinker. To protect themselves, women who can’t stop drinking should consider getting alcohol addiction help.

It’s not new news that alcohol increases the risk of breast cancer, but the study showed that it takes very little to increase the possibility of getting breast cancer.

This long-term study followed 100,000 nurses aged 18 and 40 to correlate their drinking habits with the development of breast cancer. They found that having two or less drinks a week doesn’t increase the risk, but drinking more does.

Women who are concerned about this risk can simply stop drinking – or, at least, cut their drinks down to two a week. That will put the risk back down to normal.

Some women, when they try cutting down, are going to find that they are a lot more dependent on alcohol than they thought. That’s one of the problems with alcohol – you sometimes don’t know how dependent you are until you try to stop.

If you find yourself in that position, the best thing to do is get into a good alcohol rehab program.

Breast cancer is now rampant – one in eight women get it, and some experts expect this number to increase. Quitting or cutting down on drinking is no guarantee, but at least we know it is one more risk factor we can control.

Kids who drink a little or take drugs are much more likely to use them as much or even more when they go to university or college. Alcohol, and some drugs, are so acceptable in colleges that they are encouraged by the culture to step things up. As they do so, they’re even more likely to become heavy drinkers and alcoholics when they get out of school and a significant percentage of them will need professional alcohol or drug addiction help to quit.

Fortunately, many universities and colleges are now offering alcohol and drug education. University of Western Washington is one of the latest to step up to the plate and offer these services for all students, including those who have just arrived.

They will also soon be putting up ‘informative’ posters around their campus and on student doors and will have advisers going to classrooms to talk to the new students.
They’re basing this on a study done about 10 years ago – the actions done included putting door-knockers on dorms and ads in a campus newspaper. It reduced alcoholism by 20 percent over the three years that the campaign ran.

It’s too bad that school resources, which are often short to begin with, have to be spent on this kind of deterrent – parents are paying for their kids to go to college for an education that will set them up to do well in their life careers, not to get them to stop drinking or not get caught up in the drinking culture in their school.

But, really, it’s going to come down to the parents. Parents have to be aware that they have to handle the problem well before university comes around.

The younger kids start to drink, the higher the chances they’ll continue.

If you can keep them from drinking while in their early and mid-teens, the chances of them remaining sober are 50% greater than if they drank or took drugs at that age.

If you can keep them from drinking in high school, there’s less chance they will fall prey to the alcohol culture when they get into college.

And, if they can avoid getting into the alcohol or drug culture in college, they’re less likely to drink when they leave.

But it’s really vital that parents start this at a very young age. Kids are exposed to drinking and drugs at a very young age; they need to be prepared. They need to already understand the dangers of what they would be getting into if they drank or took drugs BEFORE they are offered them.

There are many resources available to help parents educate their kids – just look online for alcohol or drug education and the info will be there.

And if you can’t keep them from drinking or taking drugs, you must get them into a good drug or alcohol rehab program as soon as possible – one that will give them that education, and get down to the bottom of why they’re taking drugs or drinking in the first place, and help them with those issues so they can stop – regardless of their environment.

Of course, one of the best ways to learn is by example. If parents don’t use alcohol or drugs as solutions to problems or to ‘have a good time’, the kids are more likely to follow in their footsteps.

This applies to prescription drugs as well as street drugs. Prescription drug addiction is now just as common as with other drugs.

Bottom line: If you look for non-drug solutions to enhance your own physical and emotional well-being, and teach your kids to do the same, you’re off to a very good start.

Alcohol and drugs ruin lives. They are now so common and available that teaching your kids about them is a vital step in raising them.

This week there was a news item entitled “Government Sues Trucking Company for Taking Keys Away From Alcoholic Driver.” Quite a story. And one that might make you or someone in your family decide that if they have an alcohol problem, they should get addiction help as soon as possible.

After working for a trucking company – Old Dominion Freight Line – for 7 years, a driver told his employer that he thinks he has an alcohol problem. The company’s policy is that if someone admits to the company that they have an alcohol problem, they can no longer drive for them – ever. The person can stay with the company if they get addiction help – in the form of a formal alcohol rehab program – but they will be placed in a position other than driver, if and when a position is available.

In this particular case, he was offered a position as a dock worker, as long as he agreed to get alcohol rehab. Unfortunately, the new job, which was only part-time and paid $10/hour without benefits meant he also had to take a big cut in pay – his job as driver paid $22/hour with benefits.

He then decided that he didn’t want to do the alcohol rehab program – because he thought that he would have to pay for it in advance and take a chance on his insurance company not reimbursing him. He enrolled with Alcoholics Anonymous instead.

Since he didn’t do the substance abuse program, and therefore was not eligible for the other job, the company fired him.

The trucking company is now being sued, by the government, for violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Alcohol abuse is legally classified as a disability, and people who are disabled are supposed to be given the same opportunities for work advancement as those without disabilities. The lawyers are demanding that the man be given his job back, as well as getting back pay, damages and compensation for lost benefits.

I would really like to hear what other people think of this.

Do you think the company’s treatment of this admitted alcoholic is unfair?

Can addiction help really change your life? Have a look at Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller. Brooke was very messed up on drugs, and Charlie (hate to say it) had pretty much gone off the deep end. Now Brooke’s getting drug rehab, Charlie’s helping her through it, and he’s getting clean himself. Now they seem to be more than friends – it looks like they’re even talking about getting back together. Since they have two kids, they would also have the family they once had.

A lot of people assume that others will never, ever forgive them for the things they said and did while on drugs and alcohol. But this is a good example of how people can not only forgive, they can also restore trust.

There will be exceptions to this, of course. But it’s not always the fault of the former addict – there are some people who tend to just hold onto things, they never really forgive, never really trust.

I would venture to say that people like that are not the best people to have a relationship with anyway – regardless of whether drugs or alcohol were ever a problem. Neither would be happy, and one person would be constantly reminded, usually by the other person, of what they’ve done wrong.

In fact, having unhealthy relationships – relationships with people who make you feel bad in some way, feel guilty, not up to their standards or with whom there always seems to be some kind of trouble – can be a big reason why people take drugs or drink in the first place.

When someone is going through an alcohol or drug treatment program, one of the steps they should take before they leave the program (and the best drug rehab programs do this) is to do an assessment of the people in their lives to see what relationships are really good for them, and which are not. Bad relationships can really make it hard for the former addict to stay clean and change their lives.

At this point, the Brooke and Charlie relationship seems to be very supportive and worth having. They’re helping each other get through what surely must be the worst times of their lives.

Let’s hope both of them make it, and they wind up back together or, at least, very good friends.

Parents are excited when their kids go off to college, but they are also a little worried. How will their young man or woman cope with being away from home? Will they do well? Will they behave themselves? Will they get involved in things that might cause them trouble? Now, more than ever, that is a very real concern – especially when they go to a ‘party school,’ so named for the alcohol abuse. Drugs are a factor, too, but alcohol is the big one.

Party schools are defined in Wikipedia as “a college or university that has a reputation for heavy alcohol and drug use or a general culture of licentiousness.”

Not exactly what you had in mind when you put that ‘college fund’ aside, right?

Every year, several publications publish their research on party schools and come up with rankings. You, or your kid, can look up the rankings on line – just search top party schools.

The most well-known list is published by Princeton Review. Here’s their top ten for 2011.

Ohio University
University of Georgia
University of Mississippi
University of Iowa
University of California, Santa Barbara
West Virginia University
Pennsylvania State University
Florida State University
University of Florida
University of Texas at Austin

The statistics for young people who drink at college are pretty gruesome – more girls get raped, more students (male and female) have sexual encounters they would not have had were they sober, more injuries all around, more DUI’s, skipping classes because of being hung over, not doing well in exams, turning to ‘study drugs’ like Adderall and Ritalin (very similar to methamphetamine or cocaine) to be able to stay awake and cram for the last few days before exams because they were too busy partying to keep up with their studies properly during the semester, or the entire year.

It’s not pretty.

So, as parents, what do you do with this information? Here are a few suggestions:

Don’t ignore the problem and just hope or trust things will be okay. Not only are your kids likely to have some nasty things happen to them, and definitely not get the most out of their education, it also sets them up to be alcoholics as adults.

Educate your kids on the dangers of alcohol and drugs. Make sure they understand they are poisoning their bodies, and know the statistics and the consequences.

If your kids are already drinking, get control of it before they go to school. If they won’t stop, get them through an addiction help program before they go to college. Same goes with drugs.

And keep a very, very close eye on things. Be very direct about it, and don’t just give up thinking ‘kids will be kids’ and so on. Statistics show that kids are drinking or taking drugs for an average of two years before their parents even find out about it.

Peer pressure in college is at its peak. And it’s hard to resist. It is expected and, if a student doesn’t live up to those expectations, they can be socially ostracized.

Those with a really sense of self and purpose have less chance of being intimidated in these surroundings, although even they can get trapped in the drug and alcohol scene.

But someone who is already drinking or taking drugs already will almost certainly get even worse. It’s like throwing them into the lion’s den.

Getting into a good addiction help program now will not only get them off drugs, it will help with the issues they have that are driving them to alcohol or drugs. With these issues successfully resolved, they should be able to get the education they’re attending college for, and have a lot of sober fun doing it.

Alcohol and kids. I think anyone would be hard-pressed to find a parent who drinks alcohol who doesn’t also allow their teenage, under-age, kids to drink at home. Parents figure that the kids are going to drink anyway, so if they’re drinking at home, or in the home of friends who also live with their parents, then they’re safe. For some reason, parents don’t seem to think of the alcohol abuse as dangerous – they’re just looking at how the kids are going to get home from wherever they are, or other trouble they could get into.

Parents also tend to think that the kids will drink less if they’re at home – after all, the parents are there, or could come home any minute. But parents often retire to their bedroom or some other part of the house to let the kids have their party without interference.

Well, guess what? There have been many alcohol-related deaths right in those homes, with the parents right there – sometimes sleeping while the kids party – and it’s because of alcohol poisoning.

Did you know that drinking just 8 ounces of vodka over an hour or two can lead to coma and death?

Did you know that some people are actually allergic to alcohol and can go into anaphylactic shock with very little alcohol in their system?

Did you know that some of the kids who are drinking might also be taking drugs that could have fatal interactions with alcohol?

Did you know that when someone passes out from drinking they’re not just ‘drunk’, they’ve been poisoned. And their blood alcohol level will continue to rise while they’re ‘sleeping’ People say ‘let them sleep it off.’ In fact, that’s the worst thing you can do. The person is in such a toxic state, they can’t even stay conscious. They could die.

Did you know that the ‘normal’ effects of being drunk – vomiting, mental confusion, you know: “drunk” – is actually the result of being poisoned?

Did you know that alcohol poisoning can lead to permanent brain damage?

Did you know that kids who drink while in their teens are likely to be adult alcoholics and will eventually need alcohol rehab to get over it?

It’s time to take a cold, hard look at what you’re really allowing your kids to do. They’re not just having a good time, blowing off steam or having a nice relaxing stress-free get together with their friends. They are poisoning themselves.

Not only is it extremely dangerous for the kids – you can, in many states be prosecuted for allowing under-age drinking in your home. You can literally be sent to prison for it.
And if anything serious happens – like one of the kids, including your own, dies – you will be charged with murder.

Want to be your kids’ friend? Find another way to do it. Friendship does not include standing by while someone is poisoned.

If your efforts to educate them and use other methods to get them to stop drinking fail, it’s time to find addiction help services that will get them through the problem and out the other side.